Week 24--in which we feel the dread--and dance

Beautiful Ones,

A lot happened this week. A lot. Personal and collective.

I’ll start with the collective, because the pain is shared by all.

The little gold king ordered the military onto our city streets. Doesn’t anyone remember Kent State? This never ends well. The dear leader celebrated his birthday with a military parade. What country is this? An enraged follower murdered elected officials in their homes and is still at large with names of others he wants to kill in his car.

The center, as they say, does not hold.

And you know what happens when the center doesn’t hold, don’t you? Like a blender with the top removed, centrifugal forces are released, spewing fear, terror, chaos, anger, confusion over everyone everywhere.

We are bathed in his dirt and covered in dread.

I don’t want to live in dread and dirt. I know what that feels like. I lived in dread for years, bracing for my husband’s next irrational explosion, the next fist in the wall, the next shattered chair. Thankfully, deep soul writing arrived, and the voice fed me questions to explore.

Here’s a massive one: “What am I beginning to see that I have been unwilling to see?”

I still explore that question and I offer it to you right now as we try to find a way to brush off the dirt and transform the dread. Ask your divine voice a big question and I promise you, a very big, very unexpected, life-changing response will come.

But it wasn’t just a week of horror. It was also a precious, holy, and utterly delightful week.

I’ve got three stories to tell you. I hope they offer some soothing balm.

Story #1
We’re in the midst of Deep Soul Writing with Friends, a new and radically different way to teach deep soul writing. In our second gathering, I led an exploration into the massive question: Who is the Voice?

I told the story of the day the divine changed gender on the page from Dear God to Sophia. In that moment, the center stopped holding, but instead of spewing dirt and dread, I was covered in joy.

The divine feminine didn’t just arrive on the page with her ancient name, She landed in my body. And surprise of surprises: She fit! 

In that moment I realized the price a woman pays while worshiping a patriarchal god. I told everyone this was not a conversion, it was a total inversion.

To illustrate, I showed a Tarot 12 card, the Hanged One. In the 12, the hanged one is upside down. Then I turned the card upright and shared my big AHA that when the Goddess arrived, I realized it was the world that was upside down and I, at last, was upright and able to see the truth.

Sophia has been with me ever since, leading me deeper and deeper into pre-patriarchal memory and mystery.

After I told my story, I invited everyone to invite a name to surface. And oh the names that came through! I’m still smiling at being given the opportunity to invite people into a new and sweetly intimate relationship with Love.

Story #2
I’m turning 77 tomorrow, June 16. In preparation for my birthday, I always sit down with Depth Numerologist and Shamanic Astrologer, Emma Kupu Mitchell. We got on Zoom on Friday. Not just any Friday but Friday the 13.

I love Friday the 13. It’s always a lucky day for me. Why? Because thirteen is Her sacred number. That’s why patriarchy turned 13 into something to fear.

This Friday the 13 was the 11th anniversary of a life-altering consultation with astrologer George Ward in preparation for my 66th birthday. In that reading George told me to look at Jupiter and Saturn. I looked.

George said, “In ten years, you will be doing a level of work that today you cannot even imagine.”

Scared the dickens out of me, but his pronouncement sure got things in motion. Sophia arrived just a few months later. Hmm.

So the first thing Emma and I did was welcome George, who joined the stars in September 2015, and told him he was right. Today, thanks to prayer artist, mystic witch, firekeeper, and The Witch Sequence, I am indeed doing work that I could never ever have imagined. We felt George smiling.

I had big questions for Emma. She had even bigger answers.

She began by delving into the numeric vibration of 77.

Seventy-seven is already sacred for me. It’s the number of The Witch Sequence, the massive 3-year project Cathy Stevens Pratt and I have been creating since 2023. We gather for 77 days in each of the 7 intensives as we walk the 7 circuits of the original ancient feminine womb labyrinth to acquire 7 original sacramental gifts.

Emma blew my mind with her insights into the Pythagorean meaning of the double sevens, the 14 they create, and their reduction to a 5.

Turns out 77/14/5 is my core. It is the union of my birthday and name. 77 is everything.

I was on the edge of my seat and we hadn’t even gotten to the astrology!

I’ll give you a very short version of the astrology. I asked for Emma’s guidance on when to move to New York. Why New York? Because my son and soon-to-be daughter-in-law live in Queens where he’s a public defender and she’s an art historian.

I want to spend the rest of my life close to them.

Emma did some deep astrology looking into the future with the Hudson River Valley as my home. And guess what. The stars are conspiring to create a perfect window of time for me to move next summer. It’s complex astrology. And I can’t say I understand it. But Emma said the cosmos won’t offer the same configuration for another 19 years. Let’s see, I’ll be 97. Not gonna wait till then!

I left Emma's consultation covered with joy. Expectation. Possibility. Clarity and delight.

But Saturday morning I woke to political assassinations and the little man’s parade.

It’s a strange place: feeling both excitement and possibility while being utterly horrified.

Story #3
I found my way forward in a totally unexpected place: The New York Times. I don’t know why, but I started reading an article about Tom Hiddleston. His name didn’t mean anything to me, but when I saw his picture, I remembered being enchanted by snippets of him dancing on late night shows. That man can move! And he moves with such joy. So I continued to read. What Hiddleston had to say soothed my soul and might be just the antidote we need in this moment to the dread we are all feeling.

Journalist Gia Kourias interviewed Tom about his performance in the science fiction movie The Life of Chuck.

She writes:

“A creeping sense of dread washed over Tom Hiddleston as he read the script for The Life of Chuck. He knew that its director, Mike Flanagan, wanted him to play Chuck Krantz, or, as the actor put it, ‘a harbinger of the apocalypse.’ But as he read on, there came excitement, a thrill. Chuck has a secret: He loves to dance.”

Tom understood that the message of The Life of Chuck — and its dance — is serious.

Its message is, do whatever gives you that feeling of being alive.

Tom said,
“Dance, do math, paint, write, run, play the piano, sing, skateboard, surf, climb mountains, whatever it is that gives you deep joy, that is a transformative force in life. Life is brief and precious, and it needs to be grabbed with both hands. It takes courage to follow the joy and to find it. For Chuck, it’s dancing. And to some extent, for me, it’s dancing. So dance while you can.”

Do what gives you joy. Well, what is that?

For me it’s silence, deep soul writing, real prayer, awakening memories of devotion to the Goddess, and partnering with Cathy and Emma to create mystical intensives.

I think, thanks to Tom Hiddleston, I might have to add dance!

What gives you joy? What sweeps the dirt away and transforms the dread?

Whatever that is, do it. Do it. Do it today. Do it while you can. It will brush off some of the dirt.

to dancing in the mysteries of life

Janet

PS: Deep Soul Writing with Friends is ongoing throughout June. Everything is recorded and will be available for several years. So you're still welcome to join us. I may not teach it again.

PS: Cathy and I host a ten minute Her Council of Love prayer every Monday at 4pm eastern, 3p central, 2p mountain, 1p pacific, 10a Hawaii, 3p Atlantic, 9p UK,10p Europe, and 8a Tuesday in New Zealand.

Zoom Meeting ID: 890 2202 7696
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