Theme: Magicians Reporting for Duty

Week 13: in which we remember that we are, and always were, worthy. The other story is a lie.

Beautiful Magicians,

Today begins what for many recovering christians is an annual nightmare, a week when childhood trauma rears its ugly head once more to remind us that no matter how hard we work or what we accomplish in life, we are not worthy.

We were never worthy. We were born unworthy. Especially, if we were born female.

If you weren’t raised christian, please don’t think this doesn’t affect you. It does. Especially if you live in the United States or any western nation that has been steeped for centuries in patriarchal christian culture.

Like it or not, rebel against it or not, patriarchy—the cultural product of stone age religion—is the water we swim in.

I grew up in a strict Catholic home. I hated every minute of Passion Week—the week before Easter. Even as little children, we were marched into church every day and ordered to walk slowly around the church, stopping in front of 14 horrifying images of a man being slowly tortured to death. We were told we had to do this because that man was the son of god, and he did it for us, and every time we committed even the smallest infraction, we contributed to his suffering.

Looking back, I’d label that story child abuse.

But even now, at 77, knowing that religion, as Jim Palmer tells us, is nothing more than an “identity demolition project,” I still flinched when I opened the internet to confirm that there were 14 images. I caught a glimpse of just one and couldn’t close the screen fast enough.

But I can’t get away from the horror of that god-commanded suffering.

Just this week, the self-labeled Secretary of War (oh, how he loves war) prayed for “overwhelming violence” against “the enemies of righteousness” in a worship service at the Pentagon. (Which brings up the issue of the separation of church and state, but let’s not digress.) He actually told the soldiers they are fighting “in the name of Jesus Christ.”

Yee Goddesses and gods! What year is this! We thought it was 2026. Silly us.

In fascist white christian right eyes, we’re stuck somewhere between the 11th and 13th centuries, the time of the crusades. Don’t believe me? The warmonger doesn’t hide his tattoos. On his right arm in massive black letters, it says Deus Vult, Latin for “god wills it,” the rallying cry of the 1st Crusade. And, if that weren’t enough, he has a massive Jerusalem cross of the Crusades on his chest.

Now ask yourself, who were those crusaders fighting? Muslims. And who is the warmonger salivating to bomb today? Right, not much has changed.

So, what to do. What can we do to make a difference? To help shift our world even a few degrees away from relishing death and destruction toward living with gentleness, kindness, inclusion?

This question overwhelmed me eight years ago.

I had just received prayer artist and was offering the second of what became eight prayer intensives with Kahu Lahela on Ho’opnopono, the ancient shamanic prayer of restoration and forgiveness. Suddenly the members all seemed to need to talk about their experiences of childhood sexual abuse. One after another, felt safe to share stories they’d never shared before. I was proud of the container we were creating for one another, but at the same time, the stories left me slipping deeper and deeper into despair and anger at what men felt entitled to do to girls and women.

I was reading Circle of Stones: Woman’s Journey to Herself by Judith Duerk at the time.

For the first 34 pages, Judith describes the world of matriarchy, the world before stone age religion, and my heart overflowed with a bone deep memory of how we lived once and must live again. A world filled with reverence for the Goddess, the land, and for the sacredness of all life. A world where women were valued for their leadership in prayer, ritual, and ceremony. A world in which women had authority and were respected for their wisdom and oracular vision.

But on page 35, as Judith writes, “Things began to change” and for the rest of the book, she outlines in detail what sky gods and their laws did to the world. Here are a few points:

• rights of inheritance were taken from women
• control over her property, finances and legal affairs were given to men
• her social autonomy was taken and she became property
• sacred union was condemned
• sacred groves were cut down
• Goddess symbols including snake and tree were denigrated and reviled

All this horror culminates in the stone age story of Eve, the story that becomes the foundation of patriarchal power and the denigration of women. And the supposed reason the man in passion week has to be tortured to death to appease god for all the sins of the world.

As I read, I got angrier and angrier and angrier.

And my inner wisdom, my divine Sophiac voice knew I was losing my way. In the middle of the night, she woke me and said clearly:

"It wasn’t a power structure; it was a reverence structure."

I wrote it down on the yellow pad beside me. I knew I was being given a massive teaching. Looking back, I think she was handing me the foundation of not just my life and my work, but the key to the transition out of patriarchy and into a holier way of living.

For years I tried to stay away from calling that way of living, Matriarchy, because that word, sounding so much like Patriarchy, can be perceived as just another hierarchy, but with women in charge.

Gender, as we can see watching the appalling behavior of women who abet pedophiles or participate enthusiastically in the abuse of power, is not the answer.

The key isn’t gender, it’s reverence.

And reverence is not a word I hear discussed very much. It wasn’t a value in childhood. My parents much preferred obedience. It isn’t a word I run across very often in my studies. It’s certainly not a word we hear in the political arena.

Can you image the TIC—Thug in Charge, or the warmonger, or any of the fascists talking about the importance of reverence for life. For the earth. For the waters. For women. For children. For immigrants. For education. For taking care of one another.

But reverence is real. It’s possible.

We saw it in Minneapolis. We saw ordinary people show up every day in ice cold winds to protect the most vulnerable. We see it in the No Kings protests around the world. We see it in neighbors who help one another.

I could write newsletters all year about the difference between abusing power in Patriarchy and living in reverence in Matriarchy, but for today, I just want to share a few lines that I think paint the two radically different portraits.

Patriarchy makes suffering visible
Matriarchy makes love visible

Patriarch exploits
Matriarchy protects

Patriarchy prizes competition
Matriarchy prizes collaboration

Patriarchy promotes individuals
Matriarchy builds relationships

Patriarchy says everything is dead
Matriarchy knows everything is alive

I hope reading these few lines gets you started painting your own portraits.

It’s a powerful exercise. Then next week, I’d like to share the Five Crimes of Patriarchy and the Five Prayers of Matriarchy that heal them.

Life is Fragile, Handle with Reverence. Because Matriarchy is possible.

Janet

PS: A few books from my library:

When God Was a Woman, Merlin Stone
Woman, Church, & State, Matilda Joslyn Gage
The Alphabet Versus the Goddess, Leonard Shlain
Rebirth of the Goddess, Carol P Christ
The Great Cosmic Mother, Monica Sjoo & Barbara Mor
Man Made God, Barbara G Walker

And be sure to read Jim Palmer on facebook and substack.

website: janetconner.com

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