Week 44--in which we look back nine years and are, well, surprised

Beautiful Ones,

When I offer something—a book, an intensive, a prayer circle—I always go through the experience by myself before I try to talk about it.

I didn’t learn this from anyone. Least of all any self-help teachers or books. Indeed, what makes so many self-help books boring is that they do not report personal experiences that result in new and radical insights; no, they rehash standard-issue ways of thinking that lost their oomph long ago. I know. I read those books for years. I said those affirmations. And slowly, I began to realize they had no power, no magic, no life.

I stumbled upon this order of: experience first, notice what happens, consider its usefulness, then, and only then, talk or write about it. After a quarter century of mystical exploration, I find this order still works. Every time.

Here’s how mystical discovery happens for me.

1. experience something—something hard, often scary, that grabs my attention and will not let go
2. realize the old ways of thinking about the problem or dealing with it aren’t helpful
3. start asking questions—big scary, questions, questions I’ve never asked before, questions that propel me into new mystical territory
4. explore possibilities—even, or especially the ones that don’t make rational sense, taking notes every step of the way
5. surface with radical new insights, ideas, totally unexpected connection
6. finally, tell someone

These are not unlike Mary Oliver’s famous rules for living:

1. pay attention
2. be amazed
3. tell someone

Only her rules are usually talked about only in the context of paying attention to the wonders of nature, making it seem like her rules are sweet. And they are.

But I think they apply to the hard edges of life, too.

Consider my list. I think my steps fit into her rules pretty well. But first we have to add notice. You can’t be changed by something if you haven’t stopped to notice what is demanding your attention. Become aware and stay aware. Even if it hurts. Especially if it hurts.

So here are my “rules” woven into hers. Do you think they fit?

Notice and Stay Aware

• experience something—something hard, often scary, that grabs my attention and will not let go
• realize the old ways of thinking about the problem or dealing with it aren’t working

Pay Attention

• start asking questions—big, scary, questions I’ve never asked before, questions that propel me into mystical territory
• explore possibilities—even, or especially the ones that don’t make rational sense, taking notes every step of the way

Be Amazed

• surface with radical new insights, ideas, totally unexpected connections

Tell Someone

• for me that’s this weekly Notes from the Field, my books, my intensives, and deep conversations with members of the intensives

I didn’t know Mary Oliver’s Rules for Life when I stumbled upon deep soul writing in 1997. Or when Writing Down Your Soul came out in 2009. I heard them for the first time when a woman in a 2011 deep soul writing trip to Costa Rica shared them with us over our closing dinner.

But I had been living them. So when I heard them spoken that night, they landed in me as truth. Not someone else’s idea, but my own, personal lived truth.

Now, as I am preparing to open The Lotus and the Lily prayer intensive in two weeks on Tuesday November 18, I am once again experiencing the power, necessity, and beauty of experiencing something in depth before I consider asking anyone else to do it.

That something is looking back at the nine-year cycle that is coming to a close.

Looking back has been an essential component in The Lotus and the Lily since I first stumbled upon the process in December of 2009. I had to face the painful reality that traveling around the country for a year teaching deep soul writing—beautiful as that was—had brought me to the brink of bankruptcy.

When I asked my divine voice for guidance on how to create a beautiful and prosperous life in 2010, I was told in no uncertain terms to look back at the life I had already created.

If there was one thing I didn’t want to do, it was look back. And guess what, all the prosperity books said the game was all about looking forward. Get clear about what you want, they said. Name it. Feel it. See it. Believe it. You know the drill.

But I had followed the wisdom of my divine voice for 12 years. The voice had carried me through a violent divorce and accompanying PTSD. It had guided me through the loss of my home, my career, my savings, and almost all my friends. Step by step, the voice had guided me into a new home, a new career as a writer, and the rare miracle of not only getting published but the book becoming the top seller in its category.

So, although I was scared, it seemed pretty stupid to turn away from this proven relationship built on intense trust and listen to the teachings of every self help book on manifestation.

So I took a deep breath and did what I was instructed to do.

For seven days I did nothing but look back at the life I’d created. I life I thought I knew pretty well.

But I was stunned at what I found. Pain and suffering, sure. But I also found gifts and insights and blessings that were right there under my feet. Blessings I had never taken the time to fully ponder and cherish. Suddenly my life, with all its bumps, looked very different. And I could see how everything had led to the moment I was living.

Turns out this wasn’t a radical or new discovery on my part. It is ancient wisdom straight from the Buddha’s mouth.

The Buddha taught: This is because that is.

Do you see how diametrically opposite that is from the law of attraction that tells you to focus on what you want in the future?

• If the life you are living right now is because of, born out of, interconnected with the life you’ve been living…
• If the present is intertwined, interwoven with the past...
• Then, the richest exploration you can possibly do is to stop and look back.

Now, we’ve done this in The Lotus and the Lily prayer intensive every year since 2010. And we got pretty good at it. But then along came 2020 with Covid and quarantine, and we realized we needed two weeks to look back, one would never do. And with that extra time, our looking back got richer. And richer. And then we added the mystical tool of looking back on a labyrinth! That took us to a whole new depth.

Well, this year, we get to do something we’ve never done before.

This year, 2025, is the ninth year in a nine-year cycle that began 2017. So we are going to look back at all nine years. That can sound daunting, but to help us do that, Cathy Stevens Pratt created a simple pie chart with 9 sections.

Of course, I had to try it first. Before I could explain the value of looking back nine years, I needed to do it myself. I needed to know if this works or how it works or what happens when you slow down and look back at what has happened in the last nine years.

And I was stunned by what I found.

When I started looking back with the first slice of the pie, 2017, a memory of waking up on the Winter Solstice morning hearing Sophia’s Voice surfaced. This was not an easy thing to hear. I fell right into trap of: “Who am I to be Sophia’s voice?”

But I put those words on my 2018 mandala anyway. And now, looking back, I see that everything—I mean everything—began because I was willing to embrace those words.

So with that awareness, I got out my last nine mandalas, and following the trail from 2018 to 2025, jotted down words or phrases of what happened each year.

When I finished, I stared at my list. I had to sit with it for several days before I could share it with anyone.

I needed to sit with the living reality of “This is because that is.” The last nine years and all that I am and all that I have created is really one interwoven tapestry. One mystical story. One story with nine parts that I had to notice, explore, and live.

Here are the highlights.

2017—Sophia’s Voice

2018—Prayer Artist: changed everything

2019—Original Prayer: write new genre of prayer, redefine prayer all together

2020—Mystic Witch: never saw that coming!

2021—Female Trinity, Theatre of the Miraculous

2022—Our Lady Queen of Magicians arrives

2023—The Witch Sequence and 7-circuit labyrinth

2024—Fire Keeper: feels like a culminating task

2025—Pars Fortuna and Her Libraries

As I made this list, I had a surprising awareness that I hope is helpful to you as you look back.

All of these:

• were totally unexpected, unasked for
• were a shock to my system
• frightened me
• cracked me open
• pushed me into a permanent state of discovery

I’m so grateful that I went first. That I spent a few days looking back in depth at the last nine years of my life.

And now, I feel I will be ready to begin the process of stepping into a whole new nine year cycle as I make my mandala for 2026.

We can talk about the magic of making a mystic mandala next week.

Join me and a global community gathering in The Lotus and the Lily to harvest a nine year cycle and seed a new one.

Please don't wait, there are lots of PDFs to help you prepare and bonus videos including one of members of last year's intensive talking about what they are discovering about the meaning of their 2025 mandalas.

Follow the link to the Registration page with all the details, schedule, and registration options.

The Lotus and the Lily Harvest 2025 Seed 2026

Life is Fragile. Handle with Reverence

Janet

PS Lotus is NOT offered OnDemand after it ends. But everyone registered will have access to the Resource Page until next October. So register, even if you won't be going through the process now.

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