When I clearly heard “prayer artist” in the night 11 months ago, I had a choice. Even in the dark in the middle of the night, I knew I had a choice. But here’s the problem:
My body voted one way. My heart another.
As I wrote the words in the dark on the yellow pad beside me (what? you don’t sleep with paper!?), my body clearly voted no.
I could feel fear surging through my body straight for my bowels. It’s amazing how quickly a clairsentient message finds its spot and expresses itself. I’d say it took about half a second!
I know this feeling. This is the “no blanking way” message. That message was delivered.
But at the same time, my heart expanded. And expanded. And expanded.
Lying in the dark, I was a witness to a mystical debate going on between my 1st and 4th chakras. The big no and the big yes in a face-off.
I think you know who won.
But not right away.
It took me a few hours of deep sleep to integrate what happened. In the morning I went straight to the page in deep soul writing with “Beloved Vibration of Sophia!” the name of the divine feminine for me.
I described what happened in the night. How I felt. Or rather, how my intestines felt. I acknowledged that “prayer artist” would change everything. And in ways I could not predict or even imagine.
Being asked to step into the world not only in a whole new way for her, but in a whole new way for everyone.
And she was a tad frightened!
After expressing my concerns, I got to the heart of the matter. I said—in writing:
“I don’t know what this means. And I’m pretty sure it changes everything. But if you want me to be your Prayer Artist, I will be your Prayer Artist.”
It felt good to write that. Several tears confirmed that. I paused for a moment and stared out the glass doors feeling what it feels like to say yes. A mystical yes. To a mystical request.
When I looked back down, the first prayer came flooding onto the pages.
And, well, everything has changed. Just like my bowels knew it would.
And change has come at the speed of love.
One thing that had to change was my website. As a prayer artist, I needed a prayer artist website. Whatever that means!
The incomparable web designer, Amy Isaman, worked with me throughout November and December to create not just a new website, but a whole new kind of website.
If you’ve ever played “the new website game,” you know that you typically begin by looking around at people you admire or wish to emulate to see what they’re doing and then mirror that.
I did this with my first website. I asked myself who I wanted to become someday and created a website with the best design elements those authors had on their sites.
But this time, when I looked I could not find one person, one teacher, one author I wanted to emulate. No one was doing anything like what I want to do.
Well, Amy said, never mind what others are doing. Your job is to get clear about the experience you want your visitors to have.
Not who you are but who they are. What they want. What they are seeking.
And so I spent a lot of deep creative time describing YOU. And how I hope you will feel when you come to janetconner.com.
By some miracle of divine guidance and wild creativity and technological brilliance, Amy Isaman created a site that sets my heart on fire, and from what I’m hearing from you, sets your hearts on fire too!
But you may not have seen it yet. Most of my Notes from the Field subscribers signed up ages ago, sometimes years ago, and only visit the site to register for a specific event. (Watch next Sunday for the opportunity to register for the next Ho’oponopono prayer intensive with Kahu Lahela.)
Today I’d like to give you a gift, the prayer of consent I wrote in honor of this sacred call to be a prayer artist.
I’d like to invite you to come and play in the fields of prayer artistry at my new site. Watch the video on the Homepage if you haven’t seen it. (I say something rather audacious.) And read my outrageous story on the About page. And learn a prayer or two on the Prayer Resources Page.
And here’s an invitation from me to come and play at janetconner.com
Here’s my little prayer, “Yes.” I hope that someday soon you’ll be writing your own prayer of yes!
©Janet Conner, May 9, 2018
Something is being awakened in me.
I hear silent love songs and know they are mine.
I see whole performances in the hour before dawn and know this is what I am to do.
I hear these prayers.
The words wash right through me.
And I am moved.
The palm fronds applaud.
The ospreys scream encore.
The squirrels stop and stare.
I sit in the garden
and whisper yes.
Yes, Beloved, Yes.
I am willing to become your prayer.
to saying yes to love!
PS: after you visit my site, if you realize YOU want a new or updated website too, email me and I’ll personally connect you with Amy Isaman at Entwine Web Design. Your search is over!